Rebuilding
by Scandallover1
Summary: Mellie Grant had everything she thought she wanted, her own law practice and a name synonymous with success. Although her professional life was perfect, her personal one was falling apart. Her marriage had failed and just as they were about to call it quits tragedy forces the them back together. Can they rebuild what they once had or is it time to move on? (Melitz Au)
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys so here's a new story I'm writing and it's actually a Melitz story. So I realized I never wrote a Melitz story because I really don't like Fitz but since this is an Au I've decided that he is tolerable. Now I just want to say to all the people who love to hide behind guest reviews and comment how horrible Melitz is , please just don' read this story and you want have a problem. Anyway hop y'all enjoy and don't forget to review.

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She slowly ran her finger over the antique mahogany desk as she tried to focus on the pretrial motion Steven had drawn up. As she read through the motion she was pleased that Steven was exploiting a loophole that would help their client. Now she had to see if he could convince the judge of this, luckily for him he had been trained by one of the country's best lawyers. While it might sound like bragging calling herself one of the best lawyers in the country she was backed up by facts, namely a list in Forbes which listed her as one of the top 5 lawyers in the country. She had first rose to fame when her firm successfully argued Billionaire Frank Winberg out of a murder charge. After that her little firm Grant and Associates skyrocketed to one of the best in the country defending thousands of the country's most high profile cases. Her firm was so successful that she was the go to for anyone who was in trouble with the law. She couldn't believe how far she had come since her intro to law class in 9th grade at Andover. As she tried to turn her attention away from her success and back to the document she felt a sudden craving for coffee. She was about to call Lauren her assistant to ask her to go to Starbucks but she remembered that Lauren had to leave early to check out the venue for her upcoming wedding. It was ironic to Mellie that as Laurens marriage was starting hers was coming to an end. She wasn't divorced yet but she and her husband knew it was coming. It had been clear for a long time that their marriage was not where it should be.

They had spent a lot of time ignoring their problems but clearly that haden't helped. They had finally decided to talk about their problems as they began to realize the root of their problems were simple … the move. Maybe if they haden't moved _then things would be different... But that was just another what if in the scheme of life. Although it hurt to think that their marriage was most likely going to end they were still going to have to be friends and partners for their kids. Mellie smiled at the thought of her kids, even though she was always busy she still did find time for her two little angles Jerry and Karen. Jerry was 7 and was a little ball of energy, not only was he always running and jumping and playing but he always preferred to do all these things with his best friend and little sister Karen. From the first time he laid eyes on her when he was barely a year old he had already fell in love with his little sister who he spent every waking moment with. They were so close that Mellie was not surprised that Karen was the one he hugged the longest when he left for sleepaway camp last week. Mellie had been very apprehensive at first abut sending her little boy away but Jerry had insisted and since his best friend Adam was going as well she and Fitz decided it would be okay to send Jerry for a couple of weeks. They had also decided that they would wait until after Jerry got back to tell the kids about the divorce. They both wanted the kids to know that they were still a family even if they weren't together. She was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts by a knock on the door by Andrew her other chief litigator._

 _"Hey Mel's do you have the motion? Steven needs it"_

 _"Oh yeah here it tell him that he actually did a good job"_

 _"You know I can't even remember the last time you congratulated me" he pointed_

 _"Well then work harder" she teased as she closer the door and went to check her emails. As she was about to sit down she suddenly heard her phone ring. She grabbed it from her pocket and saw that it was Fitz._

 _"Hey Fitz what's up"_

 _"I'm on my way to Nassau I got a call from the camp Jerry had a seizure, get to the children's hospital as fast as you can" he screamed in a shaky voice as the line went dead. Mellie couldn't believe what she ad just heard … "QUIN!" she screamed as she an into the hallway. Her scream was so loud that everyone in the office ran into the main hallway and stared at Mellie who was shaking as tears streamed down her face._

 _"Mellie what's wrong?" Quin asked quickly_

 _"Jerry had a seizure at camp I need you to charter me a plane to Nashua now!" she screamed_

 _"Oh my god … of course I'll do it right now" Quin said as she ran into her office_

 _"I …I have to go to the hospital I have to go" she said as she quickly started to hyperventilate_

 _"Mellie I'll, I'll come with you okay" Abby said as she rested a hand on Mellie's shoulder quickly leading her out of the building and into Abby's car which sped away towards the airport. Of course they hit lots of red lights that slowed things down. Finally they ride at the airport and Abby parked as they ran into the airport and were quickly directed to the private plane that Quin had arranged. Mellie flew private sometimes so she was used to the private terminal at the airport. The second she got on the plane she strapped in and they were off speeding towards New Hampshire. As Mellie sat on the plane she felt numb as if the whole world around her had just stopped after that phone call. She began to cry small tears which was crazy considering she never cried, she was always so put together but today it was different, today she let her emotions show. She kept trying to call Fitz but he wouldn't pick up which caused her to slam her phone on the ground almost breaking it. As she continued to be cry softly Abby tried to calm her down_

 _"I'm sure he's fine, I mean if you fever goes too high you can get a seizure so I bet that's just what happened"_

 _"I know I just …. I'm afraid … afraid he's really sick or something"_

 _"I know but listen were going to land in 15 minutes and then its straight to the hospital okay and your going to get their and he's going to be fine okay?"_

 _"Okay"_

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 _25 minutes later:_

 _The second they landed they hurried into a waiting car that Quin had arranged. As soon as they got into the car they sped off towards Nashua children's hospital. The second the driver dropped them off at the front of the hospital Mellie ran into the lobby where a woman at a desk instructed her to go up to level 4 . She quickly ran up the stairs and entered that floors waiting area. The second she opened the door she saw Fitz sitting there his eyes puffy and red while he ran his hand through his hair. The second that he saw her he stood up and faced her. As she examined her face she looked for a smile or something to indicate that Jerry was fine but instead he got a face full of pain. She felt her stomach drop as her whole world fell apart around her … her baby was dead._


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys … so thanks for the mostly kind reviews on the last chapter. Now to that one person who had nothing beter to do with their life then to hide behind a guest review and call me a racist bitch (They actually said that) I just want that person to know that I feel sorry for them. I feel sorry that they are so insecure about their own lives that they have to try to anonymously bully people in order to feel beter about their pathetic mediocrity. I also just want to point out that this is NOT an Olitz forum, it is a scandal forum which means that I am allowed to post stuff that is not Olitz. Believe me, there is probably 10x more Olitz on this sight than anything else so just read those stories because this is a Melitz story whether you like it or not. So thank you to those who enjoyed this and I hope you enjoy these next chapters.

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As she examined his face she tried to find some kind of sign. Some sign that Jerry was okay that this was all just some big misunderstanding. This was her job, to take one look at people and determine if they were guilty or not. Her whole career was built on reading people and she could read her husband better than anyone but she hoped that she was wrong this time. Her hopes were quickly dashed as his brilliant blue pain filled eyes met hers and he shook his head silently breaking her heart.

"No … No No No" she muttered as she felt the pain building up in her chest as she ran up to him as he took his strong arms and surrounded her holding her close.

"I'm so sorry Mel's" he whispered into her ear as she buried her head in his shoulder. After about a minute of tears she pulled away and wiped her eyes as she tried to compose herself.

"What... what happened to him" she asked softly as Fitz looked up at her

"I … I don't know, I told the doctor we should wait for you" he explained his voice still shaky

"Okay well … let's go find the doctor I want to talk to him"

"Mel's what going on, I mean 5 seconds ago you were crying and now you're looking for the doctor what's with the 180?" He asked trying to take care of his wife while he himself struggled to keep it together

"Nothing … I just … I want to find out what happened, I want to find out what killed our baby"

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5 minutes later Mellie found herself sitting on a sofa with Fitz's arm around her holding her close as a doctor explained to them how in what seemed like only minutes their bright lively happy little boy had suddenly had the life sucked out of him.

"First off I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss"

"Thank you …. I … what happened to him … how did he die?" Mellie asked softly

"Uh he got bacterial meningitis and that killed him"

"Meningitis, that doesn't make sense, he got a shot for that" Mellie pointed out as her mind continued to race

"He got a shot for Meningitis A which is commonly found in the U.S. but there is another strain known as Meningitis B which has no vaccine and is far more common in Europe. I know your son was at camp which is a perfect storm for meningitis, dirty little boys sharing fluids probably with somebody from Europe who had it." The doctor explained as Fitz felt his stomach drop, if they haden't sent him to boarding school he might still be alive.

"But even if he got it ... how would I kill him so fast I … I don't understand" Mellie mumbled as she talked more to herself than to the doctor as she felt a wave of nausea hit her. She quickly swallowed the pain and payed her attention back to her the doctor.

"Meningitis is known to kill in less than 24 hours especially with your son's age it was a perfect storm, I'm so sorry there was nothing left for us to do"

"I … thank you doctor for everything" Fitz said slowly as a single tear fell down his face.

"You're welcome … and if you wanted to you could see your son now"

"See him? You mean like see his body… do we have to?" Fitz asked feeling sick at the though

"Not if you don't want to" The doctor explained

"I do … want to see him "Mellie said quietly

"Mel's you seriously want to see his corpse?" Fitz asked in utter shock

"Yeah … I want to see him I want to see for one last time … please let me see my son" she begged as her voice got weaker

"Yes of course you can see him and if you don't want to Mr. Grant it is perfectly alright."

"No I … I'll come … I want to see him" Fitz said trying to not break down at that very moment. The doctor quickly led them down the hall towards a door which led to a room, the second they entered the room Mellie let out a sharp breath. Lying in the hospital bed was their baby, their little boy, the little blue bundle that had changed their life forever. She remembered the moments after their little boy came into the world how they held him never imagining he would barely make it to 7 years old. He was too young, too good, and too innocent. She suddenly felt a need to touch him as she walked over to her little boy's body and laid her hand on his exposed arms, she was struck by just how cold the skin was. She had seen dead body's before , mostly when talking to medical examiners about cases but this was different , not only was this the body of a child but it was the body of her son. Her little boy, a little boy who would never again walk this earth, who would never again force her to watch star wars or play Minecraft, the idea that he was gone broke her heart in ways she didn't think possible. She suddenly felt Fitz walk up behind her and rest his hand on top of hers.

"You remember when he was little and he had those breathing problems and we would sit on the floor of his room and watch him sleep for hours as we just thanked god that he was finally sleeping through the night. I think he kind of looks like he did then, you know sleeping peacefully, I really hope he's at peace" she whispered as a lone tear fell down her face.

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5 hours later:

After the moment with Jerry body the whole world seemed to stand still. She didn't know what had happened, she didn't know how she had gotten from the hospital in Nashua to her family home in Vermont. Once they got home they quickly headed to the bedroom that they rarely shared, as awful as they felt, they also felt exhausted from the events of the day. The second that Fitz got into the room he collapsed on the bed barely having the energy to kick his shoes of before his eyelids drooped close. As she tiptoed away from the bed she felt him grab her arm.

"Please don't leave me" he muttered

"I'm not … I'll be there in a second I just need a moment" she said knowing he was already asleep before he could hear her response. As she stood in the middle of the master bedroom she grabbed a photo from the mantle. It was a photo of her and Jerry. As she stared at it she felt a pain building up in her chest. She hadn't been there, she had chosen her career over him and now he was gone and there was nothing she could do about it.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys so for some reason the sight did not move this story to the top of the sight even though I updated it so I don't think that anyone saw the last chapter so please check it out before you read this. Now to the person who commented that they don't like Melitz I must admit I don't like them either. I belie that Mellie is so strong and powerful and I believe that she needs to find a way to be happy on her own. Now this story I am writing Melitz because it's total Au so I find them fine in an Au. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review.

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His eyes slowly fluttered open as sunlight streamed through the crack in the curtains. As he slowly rolled over he found the other side of the bed empty again. He could have sworn that she had come to bed with him last night , but considering that she wasn't there meant that maybe it haden't happened , maybe Jerry dying was just some sick twisted nightmare. As he swung his legs off the bed he caught a glance at his reflection in the tall standing mirror that was leaning against the wall. As he stared at himself he took in just how awful he looked. His clothes were disheveled and his eyes were tear stained. From the second he saw himself he felt his heart break because he realized this wasn't a dream, Jerry dying wasn't a dream. At that thought he his stomach drop as he raced to the bathroom where he dry heaved causing his throat to burn. As he flushed the toilet and stood up to rinse out his mouth he got another look at himself in a real mirror. He was wearing a blue and white checkered vineyard vines shirt that was unbelievably wrinkled from sleeping in it. His khaki shorts were also wrinkled from sleeping. His curly hair was a mess and his eyes were red and bloodshot. He couldn't believe what had happened, it didn't make sense, what had Jerry done in his short life that had warranted him dropping dead at 7 years old? He had always been such a kind kid, a sweet kid who would help everyone and never thought about himself. As he continued to stare at the mirror he noticed the water droplets on the huge shower door behind him. For a second he was confused who had taken a shower but then he remembered that Mellie had been here last night. He wondered where she had gone, he decided to look for her as he left the bedroom.

As he walked out of their bedroom and into the hallway of he felt like he might be sick. 5 feet away was the door to his dead son's bedroom. He haden't been in there in a while, ever since Jerry had gone to camp he had not had much need for going in there. Part of him wanted to go in right now but he knew it would only cause him pain so he headed downstairs towards the kitchen. The second he arrived downstairs he saw Mellie standing at the island. She looked so put together and with her hair already washed and in a ponytail. Her black leggings and a black cashmere sweater looked great on her and her eyes had a faint ring of red that was the only sign that she had been crying. As he got closer he saw that she was looking at a picture jerry had drawn her for mother's day. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't even notice him walking right up to her until he rested his hand on her shoulder snapping her out of her trance.

"Mel's, you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine um … what do you want to eat?"

"I'm not hungry"

"Come on Fitz you have to eat something" she said walking over to the massive stainless steel fridge and opening it pulling out a yogurt and a spoon before placing them in front of him.

"I said I'm not hungry!"He said as he started to raise his voice

"Fine" she said as she threw the unopened yogurt in the trash not caring about the fact that she was wasting food

"How are we supposed to tell her?" Fitz asked more to himself then to Mellie. Mellie knew who he was talking about and she had the exact same question, how were they going explain to their 6 year old that her brother was dead. Karen loved Jerry with all her heart and they were best friends and they knew that she would not take this well.

"I was looking some stuff up this morning, on those soccer mom blogs, they had some good tips, I guess you're not supposed to say going to sleep because that causes children to fear sleep and we don't want that so I think we just need to tell her and hope for the best." Mellie said softly still not believing that this was happening

"What if we don't tell her? What if we just say he's still at camp" Fitz suggested

"That is exactly what we can't do, okay Fitz in a couple of hours my mom will be here and the whole town will know by the end of the day. People will be visiting and offering condolences and wearing black and she is not a baby, she is 6 years old, she will understand that something is wrong and she needs to hear it from us not from somebody else"

"Your right I just … I can't believe this is happening, I mean yesterday I was trying to decide which themed room we should stay in at Disney and now were explaining to Karen that Jerry's gone , I just … I can't believe this" he muttered as he bowed his head trying to hide the tears. Mellie quickly walked up to him and wrapped her arms around the torso as he just stood there sobbing. Finally after a couple of minutes he began to compose himself.

"Let's go" he said softly as he grabbed her hand as they headed upstairs towards their daughter's bedroom. When they got to the door they both stopped not wanting to have to go inside. Finally after a moment Mellie rested her hand on the door.

"You ready?" she asked

"Not really" he admitted

"This is just like a band aid, the faster we rip it off the better it will be" Mellie said as she pushed the door open and slowly entered the light pink bedroom. As she stared at the ball of covers and stuffed animals with just her little head poking out the top. As they got closer Mellie could see her daughter's hair in their cute little brown braids. Fitz had explained to her once that I helped keep Karen's hair from getting tangled. It was funny to Mellie that Fitz was the one who knew all about hair and cooking and cleaning. As she got closer to her daughters bed she sat down gently on the side of the bed as Fitz knelt next to the bed. Mellie gently rubbed her daughter's side trying to see if the little girl was awake. A second later the little girl rolled over to face her parents.

"Mommy what are you doing here?" Karen asked softly

"Um well mommy's staying home for a while now" she explained

"Really?" she asked her eyes getting big with excitement

"Yeah … um Karen can mommy and talk to you about one more thing before you go back to sleep?" Fitz asked softly as Karen shook her head yes.

"Sweetie you know some times when people get very sick and no matter how hard they try and no matter how many doctors help they just aren't able to get better?" Mellie asked softly

"Like Grandpa?" Karen asked referring to Fitz's father who had died last summer

"Yeah just like Grandpa … except this time it was your brother" Mellie said as a tear fell down her face

"What do you mean?" Karen asked in confusion

"I mean that Jerry got very sick and he wanted to get better, he wanted that more than anything but he couldn't get better" Mellie explained

"Where is he?" Karen asked softly

"He's … gone" Mellie said as a look of pain started to fill Karen's face and she looked like she was about to cry

"I'm so sorry sweetie" Fitz said as he got up and kissed his little girls forehead. "Why don't you go back to sleep sweetie and mommy and daddy will be here when you wake up ... okay" he said softly as the little girls eyelids fluttered shut but not before a single tear fell down her pale face. Mellie quickly used the corner of her sleeve to wipe the tear away before turning to Fitz he was stroking his daughters hair.

"She's going to need both of us now more than ever"

"I agree , the divorce is off the table … she's going to need us and were going to need each other"

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Can they fix their relationship for Karen's sake?


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys so here's the next chapter … now I'm not sure if people are liking this story since I'm not getting much feedback but I'm hoping that some people are enjoying it anyway. Now just a reminder this is an Au not a canon so please don't expect cannon Melitz. Anyway hope you enjoy this story and Please Please Please review so I know if I'm doing a good job oh and Btw Happy New Year everyone.

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They both just sat there in silence for a moment, the only sound coming from Karen's little snores. They had had a plan, wait until the end of summer, wait until Jerry was back from camp before telling the kids about the divorce. They wanted the whole family to be together when they told the kids so that the kids would understand that they were still a family even if mommy and daddy wouldn't be married any more. They haden't been too worried about the kids reaction considering that Mellie and Fitz were already living like a divorced couple. At one point a few years ago they had been in love, a young couple straight out of Harvard excited for their new life ahead. They had both gotten jobs, her at a law firm and him at an investment bank. They were just enjoying being young in Boston going to restaurants and shows while both excelling in their careers. After a few years of traveling and enjoying each other they decided it was time to start a family. After months of trying she found out that she was expecting. She remembered the look on his face when she told him that she was pregnant. He had been so excited to start a family with the love of his life that he had started to cry. The next year they welcomed their son Fitzgerald Thomas Grant IV into the world. She remembered Fitz crying the second he held the little blue bundle in his arms. He had fallen in love with the baby from the second that he cut the cord. That day had been one of the best days of his life with his new son and beautiful wife. He had loved that moment so much that he had asked Mellie if they could have another child sooner rather than later. Mellie who was climbing the career later, knew it was beter to have a baby soon as opposed to later when she was higher up in her job so she happily agreed and 9 months and one c section later Fitz was holding a little pink bundle in his arms. Mellie remembered later that day when Fitz arrived back at the hospital with their 14 month old son bouncing in his arms. Mellie remembered showing Karen to Jerry and worrying how he would respond, he was so little that Mellie had not really been able to prepare him for the baby that was coming. Luckily he had immediately fallen in love with his little sister. Over the years they were nearly inseparable always clinging to each other especially during change. The biggest change in their life had of course been the stupid move that had ruined everything.

It had been about a year and a half after Karen's birth when they realized that they were outgrowing there downtown Boston apartment. It had been fine when they were just married but with two growing kids it was clear they needed more space. Now the logical choice would have been to either buy a townhouse in the city or a single family home in the suburbs. Although they looked at countless homes Fitz had his own ideas, he wanted the family to move to Vermont. Now the first time he had told Mellie that she had nearly chocked on her wine. Sure she knew Fitz had loved Vermont ever since he was a kid spending summers at his Parents country home there, but he and Mellie lived and worked in Boston which was a solid 2 hour drive to Vermont. Fitz had quickly tried to explain to her how it would work, he would move with the kids to south east Vermont which was only an hour and a half Amtrak ride to Boston and they would also keep the apartment in Boston as well. When Mellie tried to point out that they both worked in Boston he had explained that he was considering quitting his job. He was too kind for the cutthroat world of business and wanted to devote his time to being a stayed at home dad. He had told Mellie that he wanted them to move to Vermont but he didn't want her to give up her career so she would just commute and then some nights she could stay in the city if she had to work late. Deep down Mellie knew it was an awful idea but when she saw how happy he was when he talked about Vermont that she agreed to at least look at houses there. After a couple months of looking they found this gorgeous rustic A- frame house which had been beautifully built. It had had all the space they could need along with 10 acres and great schools in the quaint little New England town. Fitz had just fallen in love with the town and the kids feel in love with the massive size of their bedrooms and before she knew it they were moving to rural Vermont. She had known it was a bad idea but she wanted him to be happy so she agreed to this highly flawed plan. She had just seen how happy it made him and all she wanted was her family to be happy. At first things worked out great. She would come home every night even if it meant hours on the train. She always found time for family and work until she started her Firm. Once she did that the workload began to pile up and she became ungodly busy. Soon she started coming home less and less not because she wanted to but just because she had to. By now it had gotten so bad that she would only come home on weekends. Fitz had tried to deal with this always remembering his years in the navy when he was away from her. As hard as they tried it became clear though that they were living two separate lives connected only by their children. She always wanted to come home but the firm needed her 24/7 and she put that ahead of her family which was something that she regretted more than anything right now.

She was suddenly snapped out of her trance by the sound of the doorbell.

"It's probably my mom … I'll get it" Mellie said softly as she stood up and tiptoed out of Karen's room and down the stairs towards the front door where she found her mother Carol Clarke standing outside in all black her eyes red with tears.

"Oh Melody" Her mother said as she hugged her daughter for minute before she let go "I just can't believe it … he was just so full of life and now he's …. He's gone" Mellie's mother said between sniffles

"I know it's just … it's a nightmare" Mellie said as she pulled away from her mother "I called Ben and he'll be here from Shanghai tonight" Carol said as she glanced up the staircase where Fitz was standing "Oh Fitz" she said as she reach out her arms and hugged her son in law "How are you doing sweetie?" she asked

"Um fine I guess" he mumbled

"Oh god I'm so sorry guys I … have you told Karen yet?"

"Yeah we just told her" Fitz said

"Is she okay?" she asked worried about her only remaining grandchild

"She seemed okay, I mean I don't even know if she gets what death is though" Fitz explained

"Well I guess with time she'll understand" Carol said

"Yeah I hope so … I got to go back up, I don't want Karen to be alone when she wakes up" he said as he walked back upstairs

"So Melody what does this mean for you and Fitz?" Carol asked once Fitz was out of ear shot

"I really don't know mommy I really don't know"


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys so here's the next chapter, now I didn't get any reviews on the last chapter which made me sad but I will soldier on anyway,. I hope you all are enjoying this story so here's the next chapter and thank you all for not Melitz hating

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Mellie sat at the huge kitchen island running her finger over the veining in the marble countertop. She was preparing for any moment now when the vultures would attack. The vultures of course were the obnoxious house wives that always drove Mellie mad. Carlton Vermont had a very small population of 7,000 people so everybody knew everybody. All of these women who were on the PTO and organized volleyball bake sales were always extremely rude to Mellie about her working. More than one time she had heard these bitchy passive aggressive comments about her having such a big job. Not only did they constantly make rude remarks to her but they also openly flirted with Fitz right in front of her. They had wanted Fitz from the second he had shown up at mommy and me swim class with his 6 pack and his devilish good looks. Now Fitz who was too naive to notice it just chalked it up to people being friendly. In order to get close to him the women invited him to join the PTO and the women's book club to "Get a male perspective" and they were constantly offering him food that had portions for four people. It made sense that these women were into Fitz because he was the only man in a sea of women. He had taken the quintessential mom role in the relationship which made him the prime target of cougars bored with their stupid suburban lives. There had been times over the years when she had worried about him getting to close to certain women but she knew that Fitz was the kind of guy to keep it in his pants or at least she hoped he was. She was suddenly snapped out of her trance by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

"I'm get it" she said to her mother as she stood up and headed through the living room to the Foyer where she opened the door to find Sarah Davis the queen bee of Carlton standing at her door with a huge bouquet of flowers.

"Mellie what are you doing here?" She said with a fake smile.

"My son died yesterday, I'm going to be here with my family" Mellie said as she tried to keep her shit together

"Oh course that I just I … I was so sorry to hear about Jerry was sweet kid you know it makes you think about every moment you do or don't spend with you kids."

"It does doesn't it" Mellie said with a fake smile as she showed Sara into the kitchen

"So where's Fitz?" she asked

"He's upstairs with Karen"

"Right of course …. Well you might not know but I am the president of the caring committee which is a group that helps people who have dealt with tragedy so we are here for you and your family and we are having grocery's delivered later along with all of us making sure that the funeral goes of perfectly."

"Well thank you so much Sarah but we can handle this … we don't need your charity"

"I'm sorry Mellie but this is a small town and in a small town people stick together"

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It had been 4 hours since the incident with Sarah and by now the house was swarming with people leaving food offering condolences and support. Sarah haden't been lying about a small town knowing everything, in fact Fitz had informed Mellie that the school had already sent out an email to everyone informing them of Jerrys death. As she stared at the trophy wives ordering flowers and food she felt sick, it was like they were planning a party not a funeral. She wanted to go over there and take the reins but she was just too tired to fight right now. As she started to feel even dizzier she opened the French door and headed out to the deck. As she leaned against the wood railing she heard the sound of the door opening once more. As she turned expecting to find another soccer mom she instead found her older brother Ben who had arrived just hours earlier from Singapore where he lived. Ben was only 2 years older and was her best friend growing up … having to deal with their father's abandonment and their mothers antics they clung to each other.

"Hey … what's up?" she asked

"Not much … I noticed Dad's not here"

"Oh please … You know were not on speaking terms"

"Right … so um can we talk?"

"Sure"

"Listen Mel's please hear me out … I'm worried about you Mel's"

"I'm fine" she shot back defensively

"That's the thing Mel's I don't think you are … I've been watching you for hours and I noticed that you haven't cried once"

"What are saying … that I don't feel anything?"

"No nobody's saying that

"I course I feel something … I feel … I feel more than I know how to express I … I'm heartbroken but I need to be okay right now because there too much to do …. I have too much on my plate to mourn right now"

"Mellie what are you talking about? Those caring committee people are handling it"

"I don't care … I don't want some soccer mom to plan my kid's funeral …. Don't you get it … This is the last thing I'm ever going to be able to do for him and it had to be perfect because it has to try to make up for all the things I've missed"

"What have you possibly missed?"

"Everything! I barely went to his baseball games, I never took him to the movies … I was so wrapped up in my career that I missed all these moments I … I let Fitz become the parent and I let go … I let go and now he's gone and it's too late to Fix it so I need to make this perfect … it's the last thing I'll be able to o for him." She said as she looked down at the floor

"Listen Mel's I get that you weren't always there but that doesn't change the fact that you were his mom which means you still get to have feelings … that doesn't mean that you don't get to be sad."

"Ben if I start crying I'm afraid I'll never stop so no I can't have feelings because if I do I'm afraid they'll swallow me whole and nobody will understand"

"Listen Mel's do you remember when dad left us and you would go hoarse back riding every day for hours and you wouldn't come back until it was late and you knew you wouldn't have to eat with us and do you remember that day when I hid in the stables and I carried you up to the loft and I wouldn't let you go till you talked to me because I knew I was the only one who would really understand … well you have that now with Fitz … Mel's he is the only one who really understands and pushing him away will only hurt you"

"Please … he probably already thinks I'm a monster for not crying"

" Mel's I love you and however you feel how every you want to express it that okay but I think that there is only one other person who really knows what you going through so I think you need to talk to Fitz … you don't have to be alone in this …. Just please talk to him"

"I'll think about it" she said as she turned to head back inside

"Hey Mel's" he called out

"Yeah" she said as she turned around

"I love you"

"I know"


End file.
